überEllis.com

Restarting the quotes page I sadly lost during the incident.

• <Vertice>i got my wii
  Vertice disconnected
• <MaXimus> mac before mom except after pork
• <AE> Table layouts in HTML is the web-equivalent of killing trees
• <Vertice> i always write db_queery for some reason....
• <AE> (on lesbians) Funny how a real one can ruin a perfectly good fantasy
• <MaXimus> (on hippies and violence) ...until you take their stash. Then you'll see some violence.
  <AE> Yeah. Don't get your hippie out of joint
• <Irrational> Do you know where the flat earth society is based?
  <MaXimus> Clearly not close to the edge..
• <Irrational> You can't claim "Mein Kampf" was written badly. Hitler wan't an author.
  <AE>He was a dictator
• <Lailoken> (while discussing the pro's and cons of ice-cream in a bowl vs. in a cone) ...and you're on the beach and you're crying and there's nobody around..

..and I made Cola-tonics :)

(seriously)

"Shoelaces of the world, UNTIE!"

Marius had a little LAN
The geeks were white as snow..

After another sidesplitting discovery on bash.org, I've decided to consolidate my favourites in this post instead.

Latest will always before the break, read more to see the older ones.

#670121
<sigafoo> i realized i loved my girlfriend when i said to her
<sigafoo> <3
<sigafoo> and she said "<3.14159265" back...

Predictive text input (or T9® text input) has forever altered the way I view messaging. Pure genius.

This very pure genius has been the cause of many a cryptic SMS, however, often with very humorous results (why some nerd somewhere decided I would need to type "book" more often than "cool" is beyond me - even nerds use "cool" to describe their books, don't they?).

To my delight, I've recently learnt that these little anomolies have received a name (unfortunately, I've found very little to substantiate this, but if it's on Wikipedia, it must be true).

From Wikipedia:
Adaptonyms: Words that can be typed with the same sequence of keys on a Cell phone that uses predictive text.

For example 2-3-3 can give you the following adaptonyms: bed, add or bee

Also called "Textonyms" or "Cellendromes".

Have fun today by looking up your textonym-name (the default value on your cellphone when you type your name).

PS: This handy tool can help you decipher (what I've lovingly dubbed) "midnight-message encryption".

PPS: * The title translates to "I'm home safely"

If you haven't read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams yet - consider this little quote as an incentive (it's one of my favourite passages amongst a myriad of gems):

"One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. There is also no problem about changing the course of history-the course of history does not change because it all fits together like a jigsaw. All the important changes have happened before the things they were supposed to change and it all sorts itself out in the end.

The major problem is quite simply one of grammar, and the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveller's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you for instance how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations whilst you are actually travelling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own father or mother.

Most readers get as far as the Future Semi-Conditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up: and in fact in later editions of the book all the pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy skips lightly over this tangle of academic abstraction, pausing only to note that the term "Future Perfect" has been abandoned since it was discovered not to be"

I miss you Douglas Adams :\

Eased in to weekend, with slight dis-ease.
Submitted by DemiGoddess on Sat, 2004/07/17 - 1:11pm.

Now it is such a bizarrely impossible coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the nonexistence of God. The arguement goes something like this:

"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."

"But," say Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED."

"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't though of that" and promply vanishes in a puff of logic.

Dude. You and I must have been like seperated at birth or something. Only, I think I'm a year older than you, so technically, that's impossible, although we were both apparently gleaned from the same dark and slightly twisted end of the gene pool, because it's seriously scary reading your freaking blog.

You ought to read mine sometime. Nothing fancy like this, just a Livejournal, but you might find it interesting.

Hit me back just to chat, you have my entire pedigree on your database.
Lon
_________________________________________
I am a Goddess. You are a mere mortal. I have no use for you. DIE.

Procrastinate Now (Ellen Degeneres)
Submitted by MordracK on Tue, 2004/07/20 - 8:13am.

Man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much -- the wheel, New York, wars and so on -- whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man -- for precisely the same reasons.

That's not impossible at all, dear - I've been known to procrastinate at the best of times. Waiting a year in a womb sounds exactly like my style.

Lanyards have come up in two completely unrelated conversations today - it must be a sign that I should blog about them.

I phoned my good friend Lyndith (it's her birthday today) and here's snippet from that conversation:

Lyndith: Guess what I got when I got back in Cape Town!
AE: A picture?
Lyndith: A Lanyard!
AE: Oh cool! They're usefull little things
Lyndith: They are! You can find your keys in your handbag
AE: Amongst other things
Lyndith: um...That's what I said...You can find your keys in your handbag amongst other things in your handbag

I love lanyards - I love them more while strutting through a mall. It's a statement really - one that says "I-know-where-my-keys-are-do-you?". You can almost feel the people patting at their pockets or glancing into their bags just as they passed you. It helps if yours is bright yellow like mine, though.

If you don't have a lanyard...get one - they're not cool until you do (not completely unlike pocket protectors, only lanyards doesn't get you beaten up by the big kids).

Mine's yellow
Submitted by AnonoLewser on Fri, 2004/07/23 - 1:42pm.
Mine is from Ferrari 8P

A Magic 8-ball is just a toy...or is it? The following happened in my office yesterday:

Muggie: Should Martin be using Evolution? *shakes Magic 8-ball*
Magic 8-ball: Oulook not so good

It all depends on your interpretations of the answers I guess ;)